Marriage Vows
There is a problem in the United States when it comes to marriages. In Orange County the divorce rate is 74%. In civilizations that have come and gone, the precursor to the demise of the society was the demise of the family. Marriage between one man and one woman is sacred before God and men. The most sacred part of the marriage ceremony is the marriage vow. According to Ecclesiastes, “Do not take a vow unless you are committed to keep it.” Jesus Christ himself was committed to keep his vow to his Heavenly Father: I always do my Father’s will… not my will but thine be done.
The marriage vow is to commit one to another as husband and wife in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in good times and bad, ’til death do us part. All men are prone to quit…to give up and give in to the lusts of the flesh and the temptations of the world and of our sinful nature. In the best marriages, we don’t keep our vows, rather our vows keep us. Our vow is a matter of integrity…it’s who we are and what we do.
In cultures that thrive, there is great respect for the family and willingness to sacrifice individual rights for the good of the marriage relationship and the family unit. The first step in the disintegration of the society is when individuals begin to assert their individual rights instead of subjugating their own rights for the sake of the family. The first symptom of the downward spiral is that families tend to isolate themselves into clans to protect their individual family members. This alienation tends to make enemies of other clans. When family rights wane and the society values individual rights over the family unit, the family structure will atomize and the society will fly apart. The culture loses its reverence for the sanctity of marriage and the cohesiveness of family. The value of the marriage vows are lost and the birth rate declines. When individual rights supersede the sacrifice and value of the unity of the family, this undermines the support that holds up communities, states and nations. The result is that the society crumbles. The nation without in tact family units is bound to disintegrate,atomize and fly apart.
Hosea, God’s prophet was commanded by God to take a prostitute for a wife. When she returned to prostitution, he bought her and took her back even though the community thought that she should be judged for her sin and condemned. The story of Hosea and his wife Gomer was an illustration of Christ’s love for his church…for all we like sheep have gone astray. We have turned every one to our own way.
Hosea 2:19-20 says “And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies. 20. I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the LORD.” Despite Israel’s turning away from God and committing spiritual adultery with other gods, the lord said, “I will marry you forever.” Jesus is committed to his bride Israel even though they continued to commit adultery. Hosea’s wife Gomer was a picture of Israel’s unfaithfulness. This is also an illustration of God’s love for his people even when they are unfaithful. Peter asked Jesus, “How many times shall I forgive my brother who has wronged me? Shall I forgive him seven times?” Jesus answered, “not seven times but seventy times seven.” In other words there is no limit to God’s forgiveness.
When Jesus confronted the crowd gathered around to stone the woman who was caught in adultery he said, “he who is without sin may cast the first stone.” The crowd gradually slinked away. When there was no one left, he said to the woman, “go and sin no more.”
Part of a Christian’s marriage vow is, “til death do us part.” When Pete was grieving for the loss of his wife, God reassured him, “Even though you grieve for your wife, Remember the forty nine years of joy that you were able to share together.”
Even though God is a God of grace and mercy, he is also a God of his Word. When the culture embraces the lie that our own selfish rights are greater than our promise to commit ourselves to our marriage vows, God will allow the culture to disintegrate. A culture whose conscious is seared with a hot iron calls good evil and evil good. Our job as committed Christians is to “stand in the gap” and sound the alarm by upholding the truth of God’s word. Jesus said, blessed are you when men shall revile you and persecute you and say all manner of evil falsely for my sake, for great is your reward in heaven.
What are the characteristics of a committed love, bound by the bonds of holy matrimony? One kind of love is a pursuing love. Love seeks the object of love, regardless of the response of the other party. This is the way God pursued us for in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for the ungodly. The love of God does not depend on love in return. God loves us because it’s his nature, not because we love him in return. We cannot love on our own… we can love only through the nature of the spirit that we inherited when we were born again of His spirit. This is the true spirit of the love of God. Sacrificial love is a joy when we love with the spiritual love of God. When we love with His love, there is nothing that we would rather do than to serve God by serving the ones we love.
Faithfulness is another aspect of love. Israel continued their practice of spiritual adultery by breaking the first of the Ten Commandments: thou shalt have no other Gods between your face and my face. Jesus said, “seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these (other necessary) things shall be added unto you.”
Forgiveness is also a divine characteristic of love. To err is human but to forgive is divine. God forgives us not because we deserve it but because forgiveness is part of God’s nature. Jesus said that to know and understand that we have been forgiven we must forgive others. Unforgiveness will break our relationship with God. Therefore, if you bring an offering to God and have not forgiven your brother, first reconcile with your brother and then come back to God’s altar with a clean heart. Then according to 1 John 1:9, “for if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Hosea shows that God has called us to be committed to our marriage vows. Like God forgave Israel for her habit of going a-whoring after other Gods, we need to forgive each other for our unfaithfulness in body, soul, and spirt. May our prayer be, “Lord teach me to love the same way that you loved me.” As the apostle Paul said, “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”
As we love our wives as Christ loved the church, may we ever live to the praise of the glory of His grace!
Your brother in Christ,
Michael