Discipleship in Brotherhood
Last Friday, Terry Miller’s message was about Brotherhood versus fellowship. Brotherhood is another level of connection beyond friendship. Both brotherhood and fellowship are biblical concepts. According to Romans 8:29, “For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestination to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.” We are brothers of the Son of God bound by the innocent blood of our big brother Jesus Christ.
Part of becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ is learning to see the spiritual battlefield from the eyes of the spirit… with Christ’s eyes behind our eyes. In 2 Kings 6:8-17, “Then the king of Syria warred against Israel, and took counsel with his servants, saying, In such and such a place shall be my camp. 9. And the man of God sent unto the king of Israel, saying, Beware that thou pass not such a place; for thither the Syrians are come down.
10. And the king of Israel sent to the place which the man of God told him and warned him of, and saved himself there, not once nor twice. 11. Therefore the heart of the king of Syria was sore troubled for this thing; and he called his servants, and said unto them, Will ye not shew me which of us is for the king of Israel? 12. And one of his servants said, None, my lord, O king: but Elisha, the prophet that is in Israel, telleth the king of Israel the words that thou speakest in thy bedchamber.
13. And he said, Go and spy where he is, that I may send and fetch him. And it was told him, saying, Behold, he is in Dothan. 14. Therefore sent he thither horses, and chariots, and a great host: and they came by night, and compassed the city about.
15. And when the servant of the man of God was risen early, and gone forth, behold, an host compassed the city both with horses and chariots. And his servant said unto him, Alas, my master! how shall we do?
16. And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them. 17. And Elisha prayed, and said, LORD, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the LORD opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha.”
In the spiritual battle, our challenge is to see things from our vantage point seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus with Christ’s eyes behind our eyes. Without the holy spirit that we received at the new birth, we are blind to the spiritual battle that rages behind the scenes.
There’s a difference between Christian brotherhood and Christian fellowship. Christian brotherhood is similar to what soldiers experience with their band of brothers during combat. When Sebastian Junger returned home from his deployment in Afghanistan, someone asked one of his brothers in arms what he missed most about combat in Afghanistan. His answer was “almost everything.” Sebastian searched his heart to find out why he also missed “almost everything” about combat. He knew he missed the adrenaline rush but at a deeper level, he concluded that what he really missed was “brotherhood.” Brotherhood is a mutual agreement that I’ll put my life on the line for my band of brothers and that they will do the same for me.
One combat veteran said that the worst day of his deployment was when a bullet hit his helmet and knocked him unconscious. Before passing out, he heard his men say, “He’s dead.” He thought to himself “I’m not dead.” He said that when he came to, he didn’t even notice the searing pain. He was consumed by guilt that he wasn’t able to protect his brothers during the brief time he was unconscious.
A line in the movie “stand by Me” says, “you’ll never have friends like you did when you were twelve.” When men grow up, they meet each other to do things. They go to ball games, go hunting, fishing or barn-raising. These activity based gatherings are why men meet together. This even includes church and small group meetings. These interactions are based on activities and not friendships. Men rarely get to know each other and what’s going on in their brothers’ lives. Each activity based interaction will not allow for an emotional connection with the other person. However, brotherhood produces an emotional attachment and an interpersonal relationship.
Disclosure of who we are and who we are not creates the connection with another person. Casual Interactions do not allow us to know each other’s hearts. The lack of an emotional connection causes many men to settle for isolation and insulation. Isolation means that I’ll separate myself from the crowd. Insulation means that I’ll meet with the crowd but isolate myself from personal intimacy. Men are good at building walls to separate their hearts from others. They erect these walls because they’ve been hurt by letting others in. This fear-based wall building exercise keeps men insulated and isolated from intimacy and from connection with a band of brothers.
Terry made some changes at his Men’s ministry at Cornerstone Church in Long Beach. He found that when he instituted his first men’s breakfast, the attendance increased from about 150 to 345 men. Then he arranged a men’s conference on marriage where 250 men attended. Next, he invited a navy seal as a guest speaker on a Monday night where 400 men showed up. Terry discovered that it’s not hard to get guys to attend a meeting. What’s hard is getting men to connect.
Terry often wondered why Influencers meetings produce men who are arm in arm while singing praise and worshiping together. He understood that there was something missing at Cornerstone. He concluded that his mission should be to build a culture of men ministering to men for discipleship. He knew that he needed to teach them that each Christian is, as the bible says, “an able minister of the New Testament.” Discipleship is the way to build brotherhood. There’s a tool that Terry put together by inspiration to help men step up into discipleship. He called this tool “Iron Sharpeneth Iron” from Proverbs 12:1. This is his four question guide for meaningful conversation to bring men into intentional interaction. The first question is, “how’s your soul.” The second question is, “How is your walk with God?” The third is, “How are your relationships with close friends and family?” The fourth question is, “How can I pray for you right now?”
These four questions lead to genuine interaction. It gives men specific actions….a step by step method to build discipleship. The four words after a person responds to each question is, “tell me about that.”
To disciple a brother in Christ simply ask him, “will you meet me for coffee?” At coffee just ask the four questions from “Iron Sharpeneth Iron.” In one meeting with a brother from his church Terry asked, “how’s your soul?” His response was, “I’m so sad.” Then Terry said, “tell me about that.” He shared for twenty minutes why his soul was sad. Then Terry asked, “How’s your walk with God?” His response was, “It doesn’t exist.” When he got to the fourth question, Terry asked, “How can I pray for you right now?” His request was, “Pray for me that God will find me.” He knew that he was lost and had confidence that God would find him. Terry prayed as he had requested. About five minutes later, he texted Terry, “I’ve found our conversation very intriguing.” Four weeks ago this man called Terry and said, “when I went to Cornerstone Church with my wife I walked by the prayer room and I did it.” Terry asked, “what did you do?” The man said, “I think I committed my life to God.” Terry said, “tell me about that.” Terry is looking for a brotherhood relationship with this man. Men connect with men if they listen to meaningful conversation about their lives. They connect with other men who have earned the right to pray for them because they cared enough to listen. This is the starting point of discipleship.
Jesus went through all the towns teaching, preaching and healing. When he saw the crowds he was moved with compassion for them because they were harassed and were helpless like sheep without a shepherd. He said to his disciples, “the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.”
Like veterans returning from combat, we Christians are in a spiritual battle. According to 2 Kings, Elisha prayed, “Open the servant’s eyes so that he can see the spiritual battle.” There’s a pitched spiritual battle raging behind the scenes and the Lord’s army is fighting for us. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against spiritual wickedness from on high. Men need an action plan…a battle plan in the midst of the spiritual battle. These four questions are a step by step tactical action plan in the fight for the hearts and minds of men of God.
As we fight the good fight with our band of brothers In the midst of the spiritual battle, May we ever live for the praise of the glory of His grace!
Your brother in Christ,
Michael